I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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