Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
