guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
