yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
