i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
