Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
