I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
