That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
