Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
