dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
