I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
