i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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