names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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