So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
