singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
