i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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