yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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