its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
