lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
