I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
