Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
