I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
