no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
