Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
