After last night, I could never be a politician.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
try to milk me bitch
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