just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
