even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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