you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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