Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
