I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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