We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Life is so much better after having sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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