I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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