it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
