Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
