I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
