saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
