She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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