So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
