I want to walk on stilts...naked
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
These tits shall not be calmed
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
