so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
