apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
