dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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