Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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