There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
