was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she peed on how many people?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
