I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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