I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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