hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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