They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
