Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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