I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
