and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
